Pretending
by Scoliosis
Summary: Life continues for a young Niënor after the destruction of her family. Complete.


Disclaimer: All stories, songs, plots, characters, places, poems, etc. that you recognize in this story from any of J.R.R. Tolkien's works belong strictly to J.R.R. Tolkien. I do not own any of them.

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She takes a sip of the water, swallowing as the cool liquid rushes down her throat. She hates drinking water when she is not thirsty, but her mother insists that she does. "You will get sick if you do not drink it, Nienor," she claims, wearying away at washing clothes, or making supper. But she does not believe her mother, who often goes hours, and sometimes a full day without drinking an ounce of water.

Tonight, she is all alone eating her dinner. Sometimes, her mother stays with her, and they talk about one thing or another. Usually, she eats alone, for her mother is far to busy trying to keep the house together to sit down, even for a moment. _I wish Mother was here_, she thinks, stinking a finger into the porridge. It feels warm, and mushy. She likes the feeling.

Suddenly, her mother walks in, a blast of cold wind entering into the house. "Nienor, why are you not eating your food?" she asks in annoyance. Her voice sounds tired, and her daughter notices it.

Nienor shrugs. "I'm not hungry," she claims, forcing a spoonful of her dinner into her mouth. It tastes like grass; thin and slimy. But she eats it despite her disgust.

After dinner, she goes to bed. Long ago, her mother stopped giving her a "bed time," as she calls it. Nienor usually goes to sleep earlier, any way. She puts her nightgown on, blows out the candles, and slips underneath the heavy, woolen blanket. She pretends that her father, whom she has never known, comes in to tuck her in.

"Good-night, Daddy," she says softly, imagining that he has pushed the covers right up against her small frame, smoothing them out to make sure they are "just right." She has never seen her father, but her mother often tells her that she looks just like him. Keeping this in mind, the young girl makes her imaginary father have golden hair and blue eyes. Like her.

A few hours pass by, until her mother finally goes to bed, herself. Nienor stays under the blanket, lying on her back, staring straight ahead. She is unable to sleep tonight. Once, her mother told her to try counting sheep. Unfortunately, that does not work for the little girl. She tried it only once, and found that not only was it incredibly boring; it gave her a headache.

Instead, she imagines that her older sister is not dead, and that her brother is not being fostered far away by the elves. Elves. She had never seen elves, but her mother told her once that they are very beautiful. _I don't like them_, she thinks suddenly, a frown appearing on her pale face. _They're keeping my brother away_.

Nienor pretends that her older sister never died, but instead, likes to play dolls with her, and play hide and seek in the fields. People say they look like twins, due to the similarity of their faces, and the light-colored hair they share. Her older brother always protects them when Daddy is away, and shows her how to fight with his sword. Just the day before, all three of them killed over one hundred orcs, and stole back treasure. They gave it to mother, to make her happy. She smiled at the three of them, and it was worth all the troubles of the world. Even possible death, just to see her smile.

Mother says Daddy will be home later, in a few weeks. So every night, Nienor and Lalaith stay up late, making him presents for when he comes home. She often wonders whether he will like what he makes, but Lalaith insists, "Of course he will. You make beautiful gifts. The most beautiful in the land."

Daddy finally comes home, and everyone is happy. The evil men who took over their land, and made people slaves, run away, never to return. And even Morgoth stays away. Everything is fine, and Nienor does not have to pretend that her father is tucking her in, for he really is—

"Nienor, time to wake up."

Nienor blinks her eyes, realizing that her game of pretend turned into a dream. She rubs the sleep from her eyes, brushes her hair, and throws water on her face. She walks into the hallway, but goes back to her room, suddenly remembering that she forgot to get dressed.

"I need your help with the garden today," her mother calls again, this time a little bit louder.

For a moment, Nienor imagines her father standing in the doorway, with her older brother and sister nearby. _I'm not the only one who doesn't have a real family_, she realizes, thinking of the other people nearby, some of who were now slaves. She pushes the image of her family away, thinking, _It's not real. Mother says I have to grow up soon, anyway. _"Coming, Mother," she calls back. She shuts the door to her room behind her, and disappears with a flash of golden hair.


End file.
